Taylor's Eulogy

September 22, 2017
Given by Corey Osborne

At one point yesterday morning when we finally sat down to discuss Taylor's eulogy the comment was made, “there are no words that can adequately describe who and what Taylor is to all of us. You could never really know Taylor, unless you got to know Taylor.” It's true. Taylor made such an enormous impact on everyone's lives, not because of the things he said, but the things he did - the way he served, the way he smiled, the way he laughed, the way he competed, the way he worked, and the way he lived.

As the memories have piled in over the past few days through email, text, and social media, we are seeing more clearly how broad Taylor’s impact was. We have been reminded of things that we ourselves had forgotten and even also learned things about Taylor we didn’t even know.

Goofy/Fun-loving

Even if you barely knew Taylor you could see how remarkable of a person he was. He was goofy and fun-loving and always had a big smile. You may remember him acting like Napolean Dynamite, or wearing funny outfits. At Matt’s wedding reception he snuck inside to change his wardrobe to resemble that of something you might see in a Las Vegas show. He always liked to get a good laugh. If you were around him enough, you may have noticed that sometimes that big smile of his had a hint of mischief, as he would get ready to joke about something or tease someone. You may have had the privilege of playing with or against him in basketball, soccer, or golf. He was a great athlete, that had the most incredible, most intense face when playing. It has been described as a mix between angry, intense, and scary. But it always meant trouble because he was about to give his all.

Interests/Hobbies

The only thing Taylor cared more about than keeping busy was getting his sleep. He often commented that he didn’t like to be lazy. This has led to the development of many interests and skills over the years. Derek remembers that every summer it seemed he found a new hobby. One year it was surfing, the next it was golf. When Taylor was in middle school he joined the Junior Golf Club at Redhawk Golf Course. On a daily basis after school Taylor would walk from our house on Via Saltio up the hill, cross Redhawk Parkway, jump the fence, and hike down to the course all while carrying clubs on his back. Nate remembers Taylor allowing him to come with him from time to time as long as one condition was met - don’t slow me down. In high school Taylor took an interest in ceramics. He was beloved by his ceramics teacher and made many pots, bowls, and vases that he gave to many. He taught himself guitar and got a drum set just at the right time of his adolescent life so he had something to bang on when he would get angry. He got very good at both the drums and guitar and music became a major part of his life. One of his most recent hobbies was collecting vintage records. He often frequented thrift stores and would find vinyls he was proud of ranging from The Beatles to The Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Taylor constantly took up new hobbies such as art, woodworking, and gardening. If you didn’t get a chance to see some of his handiwork before the funeral, I’d invite you to spend just a moment afterwards in the Relief Society room to see the works of his hands.

Deep Thinker

Taylor saw the world in a way that many others don't. I’ve often heard people say they just listen to the music, but not the lyrics. For Taylor it was the opposite. He’d often go to a concert, listen to a new band, and pick out a lyric that really impacted him. When he’d travel he would rather experience the culture than just sightsee. And when out in nature, he would discover beauty in the details. Taylor was a deep thinker. While going through some of his belongings we found a journal with some of his musings. He wrote the following entry almost exactly a year ago:

“I was remembering how in the book “All the Light We Cannot See” Marie says “I could hear him smiling.” Marie was blind and referring to her father. This made me think of how blind people have elevated senses. It is like they can see with their other senses.

“Even if we cannot see God with our eyes, we can see him with our other senses, mainly the spirit. Maybe spiritual eyes are not like eyes as we think of them but just the spirit.”

He had a way of seeing others in a way that many don’t. He never spoke ill of those around him and he always saw the potential in those around him. When Taylor was a Deacons Quorum Advisor he explained to me one time that he never considered himself the teacher. He would simply bring Preach My Gospel, pick a section with the Deacons, study it together, and role play what they learned. Taylor saw their potential and they loved him and respected him for that.

A couple years ago, Taylor helped me build a dollhouse for Cailin's Christmas present. Taylor was a great woodworker, and it would have been 10x faster for him to build the house on his own. Instead, we built it together. He knew I could learn how to do it, and his coaching allowed me to not only build a lot of it but it ultimately gave me the confidence to do other projects on my own. No talk of Taylor's vision for others is more evident than his vision of his daughter Jane. He has always seen her potential to eat, progress, and develop. A few years ago, Taylor was visiting Matt and Stephanie in San Antonio. While at a graffiti park Jane was climbing on some rocks. She would cry for her dad, asking for help. Every time, Taylor would respond by going to her side and assuring her, “I know you can do this on your own.”

Positive Attitude

In another journal entry from last year Taylor wrote:

“I heard a lyric that said something along the lines of, “You don’t like it when it rains.” Some people love rain and others hate it, it all depends on how you perceive it. In the end we all need it so why not see it for the good?

“Trials are described as rainy days. We can see them as good or bad. If you see them as good, you will be much happier. Trials are good because without them you cannot grow.”

Reading this as a family gave us great comfort in the trial of his death. Taylor was a genuinely happy person, and that was something that was true from his childhood to his death. When Taylor was a teenager, one of his soccer coaches gave everyone a nickname. Taylor's was “snickers” because he was always happy and laughing. As Taylor got older he learned that not only can he be happy, but he can make everyone else in the room happy. He was quietly and noticeably the light of the party. Karly and Nathan shared memories of going to Disney World with Taylor and my parents when Taylor was in high school. They remember that Taylor had a way of making everything fun and eventful. Karly remembers him playing hand jive games with her as they waited in line for the rides.

Friend

Taylor was a great friend. He seemed to have endless interests which allowed him to connect with everyone. You didn’t have to be the same age, or have obvious hobbies in common, Taylor always had a way of finding common ground. One of his coworkers shared how he and Taylor were able to develop a great friendship at work based on the fact that they had children the same age. Perhaps the best example of his adaptability is how a white boy from California with white hair could integrate so well on his mission in Mexico. He loved his time there and loves everything Mexican - from futbal to flan. Taylor often visited Mexico and referred to those there as his mexican family. When one of his companions came to the hospital from Mexico he said he came to see his Mexican brother.

Uncle

All of the nieces and nephews love Uncle Tay-Tay. Lauren and I have vivid memories of Uncle Derek and Uncle Tay-Tay visiting us in Utah when Cailin was less than a year old. Taylor would build cardboard block towers for Cailin that reached the ceiling and then get her to knock it over. He would act silly to get her to laugh. I even remember him spending the second and third hour of church in Provo in the gym teaching her how to walk. Taylor introduced a “leveled-escape” game with the kids where he would progressively make it more difficult to escape his grip. When we’d gather for reunions Uncle Tay-Tay would be a pack mule with kids on his back, give the girls a hard time about having boyfriends, and show off his legit dance skills at our family dance parties. Here in Temecula during the soccer season Taylor was almost always at the games of his nieces and nephews. As a good friend of mine said - “Parents have an obligation to be there, but Uncles only show up if they really want to be there.” He is the best uncle.

Brother

Taylor was an amazing brother. Each of us looked up to Taylor, and somehow he looked up to each of us too. Matt best described Taylor as a cog in the family machine. He had a way of relating to each of the siblings in a way that none of the other brothers could match. He was Matt's tinkering buddy, my teammate, Derek's wing man, Nathan's jamming partner, and Karly's exploring ally.

For Taylor, brothers always came first (sorry Karly) and we were a brotherhood that stuck together. You would think that this would always be a good thing but as a kid this got him into trouble. As a toddler he would tag along with us. One time he was hurrying to follow us up the stairs when Taylor fell (well, actually he may have been pushed) down the stairs and broke his leg. By the way this didn’t prevent him from learning to walk at an early age of 7 months. When he was a few years older, we were jumping off the couch doing tricks but he gashed his head open and getting stitches when he couldn’t stick the landing. Weeks later, he was following our lead and tried to jump onto the bed but he was a good two feet short and caught his nose on the edge of the bed which tore one of his nostrils loose. He hadn’t forgotten his previous experience with stitches and refused to go in for more this time. Dad told him his nose would flap when he ran if he didn’t get them in, so he toughened up and got it stitched up. When he saw dad down the hall after getting done, he ran to him and exclaimed “did my nose flap?”

His brotherly love continued throughout his life. When Derek came home from his mission Taylor had just graduated from high school. In true Taylor fashion, he had a series of parties and hangouts with his friends lined up night after night. As soon as he found out Derek had no plans, he cancelled everything with his friends and spent the time with his brother. A few months later at BYU-Idaho together a few months later, Derek and Taylor played wiffle ball and found the perfect quad for their games. They would invite two of their friends who were not particularly athletically inclined and they all would bring a girl for a fun group date. When they would get to the field Taylor and Derek would say they are brothers so they needed to be on the same team but this was only to stack the teams. They would spend the next hour winning the game by 10, 20, or 30 runs - it was awesome. It was all a setup to impress the girls, and they did.

I’m sure you know Taylor and all our family are huge L.A. Clipper fans and that’s because we are probably the only Clipper fans you have ever met. As years passed we all still love the Clippers, but Taylor became the ultimate Clipper fan. Whenever we see someone wearing a Clippers shirt, we see it as a symbol of our family, and now especially of our brother.

Son

Taylor is the fourth son and was the baby of the family for five years before Nat was born. Mom often refers to him as her first baby. He was very good-natured, always happy, and really never raised his voice. Dad and Taylor shared a special bond for building things. Every time dad would get new equipment, Taylor was the first to use it and then teach my dad how to use it. Cleaning definitely wasn’t his forte but he was always willing to fix things in the house. Taylor was the first to throw mom into the pool. Every reunion he’d put mom on his shoulder and she’d scream “don’t throw me in, don’t throw me in” while Taylor would encourage the grandkids to tell him to go ahead and do it. Somehow I think it was rehearsed because it only happened when mom was ready to get her hair wet. Taylor was always very considerate of mom’s feelings. When he went to Mexico City and mom was worried she wouldn’t be able to get in touch with him he installed an app on her phone so he could check-in with her daily. Mom loved watching Taylor as a dad and loved to hear about all the things he was doing with Jane like working with her on eating, shopping for girly things, going to the library, buying new books, going to the safari park, and much, much more. Dad once told me that the heart is an amazing thing. When Matt was born he had the capacity to love him with all his heart. When I was born he worried he’d have to share split his heart to love us the same. Somehow, as each child was born, he found he still had the same capacity to love each one the same. They loved Taylor with all their hearts, and Taylor loved and honored them.

Father

If you've had a conversation with Taylor in the last 5 years, it was sure to include something about Jane. Nothing made him more proud than being Jane's father. Taylor took pride in finding and dressing Jane in cute outfits. He braided her hair. He sought out endless activities and hobbies that he and Jane could share together. When Taylor moved into his home, he decided not to get internet. At first Jane protested—that meant no TV! But Taylor wanted his time spent with Jane to be meaningful. They would draw, garden, play music, and many more things together. One day he decided to make a pine cone bird feeder with Jane. As they were hanging their work in the backyard, Jane exclaimed, “This is better than internet, Daddy!”

Taylor also took pride in Jane's achievements and growth. He worked so hard with her in all aspects of her life, especially her eating. We would love getting calls from him where he was just beaming while telling us about what Jane had done, or what she ate.

Taylor put his everything into Jane. On weekends where Taylor had Jane he would be busy going on adventures with her, doing activities with her, helping her eat, playing with her, etc... What was amazing to us was the after Jane left, it wasn't uncommon for Taylor to eat a giant meal and fall asleep for the night. Even if it was 5 or 6 in the evening. Those weekends Taylor had Jane he was so focused on her that he would forget to eat. He was so focused on her that he would get minimal sleep. He gave his all to being Jane's father that it wasn't until she was gone that he would start taking care of himself.

There is nothing Taylor wanted more than being able to spend every day with Jane. When we went to the mortuary yesterday to help dress him for today, we all agreed that it was just Taylor's body in the room. He wasn't there. He couldn't be there, because he was definitely with Jane.

Gentle and Tender

Taylor would often go to concerts by himself. Earlier this year while at a concert he was in the moshpit and got punched in the jaw. Just over a year ago he busted his eye open playing basketball. In high school he would be disgusted if Karly sat too close to him on the couch. On the surface Taylor was strong, tough, and maybe a little stubborn. Those that really knew Taylor knew that to his core, he was a tender, sensitive man, who loved people and loved the connections he had in this life. That tenderness continued to his final hours, where (even when mildly aware of his surroundings) he found great comfort in having his family by his bed side holding his hands. He was touched by the small acts of service, simple texts of encouragements, or kind words that others would give to him. When Taylor first got pneumonia and was really struggling with his health he asked his girlfriend Brianne to please just tuck him in, hold his hand, and sing to him so that he could fall asleep. When he heard Karly was coming to the hospital he nodded that he was excited. Then, before she left to go back to Utah and Taylor was mostly unresponsive to his surroundings, Karly asked if he would like a kiss on his cheek before she left. He softly shook his head, and pointed to his cheek. Taylor's tenderness also brought out the tenderness of those around him. During the grueling weeks at the hospital mom and dad couldn’t leave his side. Dad worked with him day after day making sure to keep his hands and mind were active. Mom would talk to him and comfort him, especially when things got really bad. Those who know her well know that mom hates to be cold. At one point when Taylor was running a fever and was already shivering with chills and not responding to any fever medications, they had to pack ice under his arms and under his legs to get the temperature down. He couldn’t say anything at this point but he looked so miserable lying there shaking. In these difficult moments mom would stand by his side, hold his hand, and sing him a lullaby. Taylor would hear her voice, feel her touch, and calm down. Deep down he was a very gentle and tender man.

Every hour at the hospital the nurses and doctors would come in and do a neuro check to see if he could respond to voice and perform basic operations like sticking out his tongue, giving a thumbs up, squeezing a hand, or wiggling his toes. The start of every neuro check went something like this:

“Taylor….Taylor….Hey Taylor….Open your eyes….TAYLOR….TAYLOR….HEY TAYLOR….OPEN YOUR EYES”

After Taylor’s passing and while I was alone with him by his bed I repeated these words as I wept.

His eyes may be closed, and his heart stopped, but his light will carry on. Until we see him again with his resurrected body we will keep beating the drum that Taylor played while on this earth, we will keep learning from his example, and we will continue to be like our friend, our uncle, our brother, our son, our dedicated father, our hero.